brownsugatou

Check, check, check it out if you are near your computer and love the art of spoken word or poetry. Hey, maybe you'll decide to host your own show on Blog Talk Radio one day too. Pam Osbey is a spoken word artist, poet, author, enterpreneur, workshop facilitator, and hosts her own show "Literary Pizzazz" on Blog Talk Radio. You can visit her website, read her biography and check out her books at her webswite at Osbey Books.

Still celebrating National Poetry Month Pam Osbey will feature another great spoken word artist whom I've mentioned on my blog before, Christopher D. Sims a.k.a. UniverSouLove. I rock on to his underground classic, and it is underground, "1987". If you are a hip hop fan you can't help it. Check out his sounds at his myspace website. Below is the detailed information regarding the show. Remember you must register with Blog Talk Radio first, log in, and then call in if you have questions or comments. Peace and Blessings for now folks.

Blog Talk Radio Feature
Join UniverSouLove on
Pam Osbey's Blog Talk Radio Show
"Literary Pizzazz"
Monday, April 27th, 2009
8 p.m. Central Time
Call in number is: (646) 478-5460
8 pm Central Time

Pam Osbey's Blog Talk Radio

This may be old news to more experienced bloggers, and photo diggers however it is new to this unexperienced blogger. Picnik is a great online photo editor. Simply put - it's free, user friendly, registration is optional, and there is no need to download anything to your computer. Basically you can edit the photo and save it to your computer. An upgraded version of Picnik can be purchased for a nominal fee. Check out the website if you need the technical specifics to be totally convinced that Picnik is the right online photo editor for you. I'm digging it and I kind of got funky with it too. (but still learning) However, there was no reason for me to smile. See below. Peace and Blessings!

Widgetbox rocks! That's about all I have to say. Really cool site for the not so web savvy blogger such as myself.

I can't even blame this on a writer's block. Feedburner, Twitter (I'm tolerating this new gadget), SEO (search engine optimization), declined by BlogCatalog.com, Brownsugatou just realized that she has a long way to go in terms of sharing her poetry and mingling with others on the world wide web! Yes, I am going bananas but I am not one to give up. This is unlike posting poetry on a forum at a cool site and getting responses. From what I have read briefly online, it takes time, energy, persistence, quality content, some SEO savvy and you gotta post, post, post to draw traffic to your web blog and maintain readership. But it's okay I find that I do lack time to devote to this weblog. But the small amount of time I spend "managing" this blog is sometimes therapeutic for me - writing new poems and absorbing my old pieces. But I have some lessons to learn... Generating Blog Traffic 101 and Maintaining Readership for Dummies. Some web company would be nice! However, I will be one of few bloggers to say that I will be patient with myself and with the traffic that might eventually trickle over to this blog! In the meantime, MacDaddy (please check out his informative blog at www.daddyBstrong.blogspot.com) maybe I'll enter the Guinness Book of World Records for having just one reader/follower! I don't listen do I?

Sometimes I have to "write now, right now". And sometimes it's short and sweet. Just gettin' out my feelings here. If you feel me please let me know. Enjoy!

Something Viral

How can something viral
Yet so vicious,
Be so delicious?

'Cause I feel teased
From within
These thoughts...
I'm feeling
A "good" sin?

The thought of
Never, not.
Not, never.
I can't comprehend.

How can something viral
Yet so vicious,
Be so delicious?

Damn!

Copyright 2009
C. Thomas
a.k.a. brownsugatou

Communication. Communication. Communication. So integral in relationships whether they are blossoming or have stood the test of time. I'll be the first to admit that I am both strong and sometimes fail at communicating - but I don't mind learning and trying something different. This next piece is a definite result of trying something different. I wrote it and shared it with the person that my feelings were directed at... and wow talk about a cup overflowing with a river of good vibes. Enjoy!

He Don't Understand.

Really he doesn’t.
How it’s hard to.
Put one’s vulnerability on the line.
When I sacrifice time.
My son and mine’s.

No he doesn’t understand.
How I appreciate what we share.
Yes it’s divine.

If I could give 100% and then some.
I would.
I try.
And I do.

No he doesn’t’ understand.
I’m often the target of Baby Daddy attacks.
I work my 9-5 plus nine.

I give and get some time.
When its given.
I choose selectively

When I get it.
I take it.
And it’s usually the best damn.
Two minute vacation

No he doesn’t understand.
That I really do appreciate.
The new friendship.
The sharing.
The giving.
The listening.
The laughter.
And the sound of creativity.

Friendship.
Sharing.
Giving.
Listening.
Laughter.
The sound of creativity.

This is the beautiful sum of all my negativity?

Then, yeah, the King will understand…
the Queen is just having one of her moments.

Copyright 2009
C. Thomas a.k.a. brownsugatou

Earlier this evening on my Facebook page I wrote...

I am me and not "society". Words to some poetry are brewing here... Write Now, Right Now! is my motto because I'm a fool for impatience sometimes. One day I will be a patient wordsmith like UniverSouLove, gifted like Taalam, and speak eloquently like T.D. Jakes. That's not the poem, but I'm just sayin'...

Later...
So good to be me, so good to be free, and not choked by what others might want me to be. This piece actually started with me and a funky drum beat in my head. I don't know lately I've been writing pieces to my own mental music. I experienced these same feelings when I wrote "Can I Love You and Hip Hop Too?" (see below) and "My Black Man" (which I have not shared with the world yet). However, I am still a P.I.P. a Poetess In Progress... enjoy!

I AM ME, NOT “SOCIETY”

Silky fine hair
You can take it.

Man made nose?
You can run with it.

Friday’s facade?
Please kill it.

Intelligence?
I’ll freak it.

Mountainous bosom?
I was born with it.

Come inside your mold?
I ain’t havin’it.

My twisted kinky hair?
Always down with it.

Lumpy thick hips?
Can you handle it?

Social expectations?
You know what you
Can do with it.

Copyright 2009 C. Thomas
a.k.a. brownsugatou

When will the the violence stop? In these hard economic times a better question might be when will the madness stop? When will we start having hope and faith again? Entire families are being eradicated in the form of senseless killings. Innocent bystanders, men in blue, immigrants - the latest headlines. While the old "violent" headlines remain the same - war and no peace in the Middle East and on these streets. Yes, times are tough but where is the hope, where is the faith, what about trying to keep it together? I remember patiently standing in the free cheese line, free peanut butter line, food stamp line, check cashing line, and yes the line of hope and faith. I'm still here and I didn't have the greatest begininngs. And yes, then I was somebody's child - brown skinned, kinky hair, ponytails, Angela Davis gap, and yep grilled cheese and peanut butter cookies made me thick around these hips. But never mind all that, I AM somebody's child.

My son: "Mama, an earring + an earring = a diamond. And a chair + a chair = a sofa."
Me: "Where did you learn that from son?"
My son: "My brain tells me that's object math mama."

Now I know children say the darndest things, however when my son hit me up with his version of "object math" I literally had to stop in my tracks and was rendered speechless. I'm still trying to wrap my head around his wonderful logical thinking - and I am not being sarcastic here. I was truly stumped. At six years old, he already has the concept of seeing "the bigger picture down to a mathematical science." That's my son and I enjoy every single "morsel" of time that God has allowed us to share with each other as tomorrow is not always promised. All of this leads me to my next poem that was inspired by my son - and his siblings/my babies who are no longer with us - Ben, Ali, and the Three Angel Babies. My son was born prematurely at 29 weeks and weighed 2.5 lbs. He survived some amazing, amazing, challenges including facing death . More on this in another post.

This poem is about a lot of things rolled into one - "motherhood", relationships, freedom of choice (although I think differently now), and most importantly "life". See I didn't know about "life" until God introduced me to "motherhood".

Brown Suga Baby

My Brown Suga Baby,How did you come to be?
Out of the five, you all the way “live”.
See the first two, I deleted.
Because it was about what I
Was going through.College, socializin’, partyin’, and
The men: a.k.a. their effed up daddies.
I was aimlessly trying to figure out life
But I didn’t know “life”.

The third (it came in twos).
I thought I was on my way.
Coporate hoe, making dough,
Relationship tight, the timing was right.
I was ready for “cuddly-coo” and “peek-a-boo” conversations.
But I wasn’t ready for the storm
That God sent me through.
Your twin brothers, all they ever knew was love.
But, during that sixth month
God called them to his Gates.

The fourth was a blur.
My soon to be Angel Baby created a new hope.
Her Daddy would be there in nine months to cut the rope.
But, like the first two before her,
She too would be nameless and faceless.
Not at the hands of man but at the hands of God

Then came you.
My little Brown Suga Baby.
You came out and hit me up on some
“Please believe it ‘ish!”
You are my pride and joy in this world
And it’s the fighter in you that lets me know that all things are possible.
My Brown Suga Baby,
So precious, so sweet
There is nothing greater in this world,
Than having you make my life complete


Rest In Peace,The Three Angels, Ben and Ali
© 2003 C. Thomas a.k.a. brownsugatou

Keeping it short and funky. Setting these words to music one day? - possibly. But this piece is based on a real life experience - my past relationship with a "local" underground hip hop artist. I've already shared "The First Ladies of Hip Hop". When I share with you another piece "My Black Man" you'll see how it all comes together.

Can I Love You and Hip Hop Too?

Can I love You and Hip Hop too?
Treasure your cloud of smoke
And withstand you not being you?
Can I love You and Hip Hop too?
Stand patiently by your dreams
And not ask what you can do for you?
Can I love You and Hip Hop too?
Walk invisibly in my footsteps
And watch my soles become you?
Can I love You and Hip Hop too?

© 2009 C. Thomas a.k.a. brownsugatou

Real life experience. I had to wrestle with myself. I want to, I want us to - to come out victorious if this shall be God's plan.

Fear of Black Love? Or Welcome to My Black Heart?

It’s easier to just say Welcome!
Welcome to my black heart.

Where my vessels stay well oiled
And Conditioned with unrequited love.

Love that ain’t right and
Men who have put their mouths on me.

Begging me, beckoning me for
My physical presents.
And ignoring the beauty
Of my physical presence.

Enter my Black King.

Excuse me! But my red carpet
Just ain’t clean.

Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
But, I welcome you to my Queendome anyway.

You gone be alright?
‘Cause I still want you.

But just know you will take
My garbage too.
My chipped heart, wilted promises
Stinky self-esteem, and smelly
Man bashing ways….

Yeah, My Black King…
I love you but I fear you all the same.

© 2009 C. Thomas a.k.a. brownsugatou

This poem was written right before the turning point that I had in terms of communicating with my son's father. All I have to say is... I'm a Black Queen, a woman, a mother to my beautiful son, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a beautiful Black Goddess - so don't label me (Baby Mama) and treat me as one dimensional and I shall (and I do) reciprocrate the same unto you. The communication that we have is much better now... still a few things to work on however all aspects of life is a journey. *** This poem is NOT for G-rated ears.


Baby Mama Blues

It’s the on-ly tune
That you can now extract from me.
I gave your four good years
Of my soul to keep.

Your two seeds, Our three angels,
One Brown Suga Baby.
Making a family can be deep

But when the shit hit the fan,
We checked out,
Ran away
From the precipice
Of…
“It’s too hard.”
“Let’s work it out.”
“I quit my job.”
“Our baby’s sick.”
“Shut yo’ punk ass up.”

So, we (the BSB and me)
Took the train
And got ghost
Left yo’ ass
Missed yo’ ass
And…
Still…
You…
Tapped that ass

The gap between us
Is wide, silent,
And spacious.

Now our Brown Suga Baby,
Has a Daddy Wound.
Now all three of us
Have Daddy Wounds.
But what you gone do
To fix his Daddy Wound?
Not a mutha-fuckin’ thing!

Barely call,
Barely write,
Child support
Ain’t never right
And you tellin’ me
How to run my life?

But fuck all that above
I’m just wanting YOU
To be
An influential person
In his life.

But when I ask
You show your ass
And I ain’t never
Outed you publicly
For child support.

And even though
WE fucked up
He’s still our #1 fan!

So come on
I’ve let you in
And I ain’t never closed the door.

But your head just keeps on noddin’
To my Baby Mama Blues.
My Baby Mama Blues.

© 2007 C. Thomas a.k.a. brownsugatou

I've had too many conversations this week about the impact of fatherless children with my adult friends and relatives. brownsugatou used to get a little angry sometimes too. And when I DID I let my pen talk about my PAST hurt, my pain... but I've learned to forgive my father who is now deceased, myself (yes myself) and my son's father also. However, I was none too kind with the pieces I wrote, Daddy (In You and Me) and Baby Mama Blues. Have you made peace with an absent parent? Would you if given the opportunity?


Daddy (In You and Me)

You know that’s really phucked up
What you did
Nah, really fucked up
You had those kids
TIMES TEN

It’s really jacked up
How you siphoned my heart
Of unconditional love
FOR YOU

I try to pretend
That these years of pain
Are not balled up inside my brain
BUT I CAN’T

Never reached back for
Lilly, Gwen, and me
Your fatherless set of three
YOU SUCK

Now, I and we have had
Straight bitches for men
Also raised by a single wo(man)
FATHERLESS MEN

So I’ll depend on God to show
Me the way
To give and receive love
In that special way
‘Cause I have
FAITH

Just ranting my but off!

© 2006 C. Thomas a.k.a. brownsugatou

Yes, I am promoting - something beautiful that is. However he's been hiding in Rockford, IL for far too long. Oh, yeah his words, his rhyhthm, and spirit have blessed many, many mics in his time and he's also a "crusader for justice". However, it's time to do it again with a fresh begininng. Christopher Donshale Sims a.k.a. Universoulove. Remember that name as it won't be the last time you'll hear it if you haven't already. You can check this kindred soul out at www.myspace.com/universoulove7 or his latest website http://www.universoulovethepoet.com/.

Let's see here it was 2002, and I was feeding off the hip hop vibe of my love, my boo, my soulmate at the time (we are no longer and but WE wish each other well). He's an underground hip hop legend in his town. That makes my son the Son Of and Underground Legend. And that made me one of the First Ladies of Hip Hop... all of us don't rap y'all. He's aware that our relationship gave me miles of content for my poetry. He completed his first solo album after the demise of our relationship that included a song that was about both of his ex-Queens. So, I'd call it somewhat even, but more importantly he used his song as a tool to address what he felt. I've used my poetry in the same way. This piece is one of my dud's but it's still special to me because I lived it. THIS IS NOT POETRY, but you couldn't tell me nothin' when I wrote it! So, Mr. Sandman please be kind.
Enjoy!


The FIRST Ladies of Hip Hop
No, I‘m not talking about the female rhymers
But, the WOMEN who are the "strong woman" beside the "strong man"
In this dirt hustling sh*t!!!!
We put up with the traveling from city to city,
The "baby I got a show tonight" and “stop worryin about the underground groupies”
"I was in the lab writing' rhymes, that's why I missed your call, sh*t,!
“Oh I forgot I gots studio time tonight, can I getta a rain check
On the punanny 'til Friday night?”
“You wanna hit this blunt with me and my crew?”
“Stop tripping the weed smoke won't get in yo business suit!”
“Anyway why you working for corporate white amerikka?”
“I’m not trying to work a 9 to 5... sh*t I write rhymes!!!!!,
“Hell I don't know what happen to your Puffy CD!”
“Woman I love the h-e-l-l out of you,
'Cause I'm gonna make it big, marry you
(And my rhymes), you just wait and see!."
Don't forget to give it up to WOMEN who stand by you in this rap ‘ish!

(c) 2002 brownsugatou

"It was election day (2008). I was on a bus and I retrieved some papers from my purse... I took out my Palm Centro and got busy - the rest is history. "

PAPER CANVAS

Imagine me, a blank piece of paper…

Who would be tasked to fill my soul?

Let me bleed lead, ink, and show off my eraser holes?
Crumple my ass up, alley-oop me ‘cause the rhymes ain’t gold?

Who would be tasked to fill my soul?

Keep me up at night til’ I’m copyrighted and sold?
Neglect me during a writer’s block until creativity unfolds?

Who would be tasked to fill my soul?

Richard, Langston, Gwendolyn – oh how I’ve dreamed…someone get me a time machine. Please!

Saul, Universoulove, KRS-One – in due time my brothers… I’m patient but, flat, blank and lonely.

Maya, Toni, Pearl – expose me to the riches of your Queendome… my thin white carpet awaits you.

If I were a blank piece of paper who would be tasked to fill my soul?

© 2008 C. Thomas a.k.a. brownsugatou

March 7, 2009

Welcome to brownsugatou's blog spot. It's funny because I have no recollection of signing up at blogger.com several months ago. It's 4:27 a.m. in the morning, I've been listening to Kanye West, Aretha Franklin, and Mahalia Jackson pondering how I wanted to share my poetry with others. Let's just say that I checked out blogger.com and low and behold I was already signed up! Although this was never my goal to begin with, I decided that maybe I'd give it a shot - posting my poetry on a popular blog website. Okay, so I have my monolugue out of the way. However, I find great comfort in writing my poetry as oppossed to addressing a large audience.

Feel free to check out my profile to learn a few more things about me. Just know that I am laid back and not all of my poetry is reflective of the person - the black woman that I am today. So far, my topics mainly deal with my past relationships, current involvement with men, and other things that just come to mind. Also, I'm no relationship expert in anyway... just waiting for my Black King to take his permanent place next to my throne. Being from the Bay Area (Oakland, CA born and raised) I may on a occasion entertain you with slang or expletives (thanks Grannie) or some rather strong emotions. Please enjoy!

brownsugatou